On Monday I posted some very personal things (you can see post here!). I felt compelled to write what I did but I honestly didn’t expect the response I received. Sure I expected a few comments here and there (namely from our moms… and a few close friends), but the magnitude of messages I received both privately and publicly on facebook and through my blog was overwhelming. Thank you, dear friends, for your care for us.
Over the past 4 years Brandon and I have heard a variety of responses to our struggle first with infertility and then during our wait for an adoption. Some have bordered on awkward as individuals gave all too detailed advice to aid us in our quest. 😉 Some unintentionally disregarded our reality with comments like, “Don’t worry, God’s plan is better in the end,” or “Aren’t you glad you haven’t miscarried,” or even “You’re young, don’t worry about it.”
But most of you, the vast majority of you, have come around us to cry and to grieve and to call us forward. In the midst of our most painful moments, I, we, have been blessed with friends who have met us in our suffering and then pointed us forward. Not by denying our grief or our pain, but by exalting God.
During one of our recent dissappointments I let some individuals close to us know that it had not worked out. The responses I got were amazing. These individuals started by acknowledging how hard this was… what a great dissappointment it truly was. They shared their own dissappointment, shed their own tears….
And then they simply said, “But remember, God is good.” They didn’t make claims to know God’s plan, nor did they trivilize this dissappointment by asserting that God’s plan would be better in the end and we just needed to remember that.
No, they simply pointed me, pointed us, to our Savior.
And this gave me hope. This gave Brandon hope. This gave us an ability to move forward.
And we are so thankful.
One of the realities we have as Christians is that God is most evident in times of grief or pain. His joy is present even with our smile has disappeared. We have reason to rejoice, even when circumstances havn’t gone our way. And this is where my hope is found. You see I don’t often take hope is God’s future plan… I take hope in my present reality… with Christ all things, I mean all things, are possible. He is my hope even when life is hard. He is my joy in the midst of my tears.
By his power, and only by his power, I can see beauty in the midst of my grief. Friends, I haven’t lost my joy. I have just found it in new ways.
And you are a huge part of that.
I wanted to close today with a song that has been increasingly meaningful to me in the last week and that (spoiler alert) Brandon and I will be singing next month!